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Transcend Your Perspective_Final

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>> Hi there. I hope you are ready to jump right in because what we're covering in this module is the key to coaching success, shifting perspective. If you only take away one thing from this course, then this is what you need to learn because transcending our beliefs is the foundation of all change. The messages we tell ourselves are why we self-sabotage. They are the reason why will power doesn't work, and the reason why we seem to never get it right no matter how hard we try. It's also the reason why our clients don't always act on the suggestions we give them. To be able to help your clients do this and to be able to do this for yourself is so huge. If you can learn how to change the way you think about things, you can literally change your life. And if you learn how to do this in one area, you can do it again in any other area of your life. Awesome, right? In order to transcend your perspective and change your beliefs, it's helpful to understand how the mind works. In this lecture, I'll explain how the function of the subconscious brain gets in the way of your best efforts. We like to think that we perceive things in response to what happens in our lives. But really, the way we interpret things, people, events, ourselves, informs the experiences we create. The way we act is fully dependent on the way that we perceive things and the way that we feel about them. There's a saying from author Anais Nin that goes, "We don't see things as they are but as we are." This is why we fail at things time and time again. It's an issue of mind over matter. But why do we do this? Why does it seem like we're wired to self-destruct? While it may seem like we've become hardwired for failure over time, it's actually that we're programmed for safety. This is an evolutionary feature of our brains. It's how we survived for thousands of years as a species. The subconscious brain is designed to act solely to protect you from harm. It functions on impulse before you have time to even think about what's going on and weigh the possibilities. Imagine you are sitting in the park chatting with a friend, and suddenly they shout, "Duck!" What do you do? Most likely, you duck out of the way and put your hands above your head to protect yourself from whatever's coming at you. You don't ask why or look around to see if something's headed your way. Your reflexes kick in and you move yourself out of harm's way before you even think about it. This is your subconscious brain at work. So your subconscious brain helps you to physically escape from danger on impulse, to duck from a flying object, to swerve out of the way from an animal on the road, or to recoil your hand when you touch a hot stove. But your subconscious brain also uses the very same impulse response when it comes to emotional or psychological danger. You see, your subconscious brain doesn't differentiate the kind of danger that comes from touching a hot surface, from opening yourself up to intimacy. It just sees everything through the lens of safe and not safe. The most important thing to understand about the subconscious both for yourself and for your clients is that your subconscious brain is not logical or rational. It reacts purely based on instinct, and that instinct is created based on years of your own input around what you define as safe and not safe. The subconscious brain is always calling the shots, and the subconscious always wins. It overrides everything in order to keep you out of harm's way. Think of it as the motherboard of your computer, you simply can't run without it. But here's the thing, this safety instinct is primal. It's the same little brain structure our ancestors had, and it's working the same way it did back in the days of running away from a loin. It keeps you alive but it's not working to enhance your personal growth or well-being. All your subconscious brain cares about is escape. It's never going to give you a pep talk and tell you, you've got what it takes despite any past experiences or feelings of failure. No, it says, "Oh, this looks like that path that led to failure and bad feelings before. This is dangerous, this is where failure lives. Let's get out of here." This is problematic because, as I mentioned, your ideas of safe and unsafe don't function logically. You develop these constructs as a child, usually by the age of seven. If you study adolescent development, you'll learn that kids under the age of seven are basically like sponges absorbing all the information around them without any discrimination. Children start to develop a sense of logic around six years old, and then there's this rapid shift when we develop most of our beliefs about ourselves, about men, women, relationships, the world, all around the time we're seven years old. Now we have all these ideas and beliefs, but we've only had logic for about one year or so. Before we really know much of anything about how the world works, we've already programmed our brains. There are studies that have demonstrated that our personalities are fully formed by the age of seven. Essentially, we're functioning and going through life, making decisions as if we're seven years old. Imagine a seven year old running your life. Now how many people are going to let a seven year old consciously run their life? Nobody. If you ask this question to a room full of people, you probably wouldn't see a single hand raised. I wouldn't do it. You wouldn't do it, right? But we do. Until you take the time to address these believes, you've unconsciously stored away in your head, you're letting your adolescent beliefs call the shots. You're living a life based on these ideas of safe and unsafe, that are logical or rational, and relevant only to your child self. This is why psychology has traditionally looked at people's early childhood experiences to understand why they think and act the way that they do. You're not doomed to live the life of your childhood beliefs and emotions, but left unchecked, they persist and this is why you get stuck and repeat the same mistakes over and over and over again. You experience things as a child, events, people, activities, and you form beliefs about them based on the way they make you feel and the stories that you subsequently tell yourself. These stories are like recordings that get filed away in your subconscious brain as safe and unsafe, approach or avoid. Your subconscious then uses this information to judge any experience that looks even remotely similar. For instance, if you've been in a relationship that hasn't worked out, you'll likely approach the next relationship with that mindset that it won't work out. You're not looking at the new relationship as a new and unique experience. You're looking at it through the lens of your last or past relationships. So how does this apply to working with your clients? Let's say that your client Ellen was over-weight as a child. Whenever she ate candy, mom scolded her and took it away. Asked how this made her feel, she tells you, deprived, angry, and sad. Ellen says that this made her want candy even more, and that she'd find solace in chocolate whenever she manages to sneak some without mom catching her. And now she has carried this pattern into her adulthood. Candy still produces strong feelings for Ellen, feelings of want and feelings of comfort. It then forms a relationship with food except she doesn't even think about it. It's all happening on autopilot. Exploring this with Ellen as her coach, she comes to realize that this is why she eats candy at her desk in the afternoon, quickly while no one is looking and then hides the wrappers. This is why she restricts herself and then rebounds with a binge. With your help, Ellen comes to realize that in her subconscious, she's still the little girl sneaking around, hiding candy from mom to get the comfort she wasn't getting elsewhere. Chocolate became a surrogate parent, a substitute for mom's love. If you, as the coach, help Ellen to work through and release this belief, her relationship with food and the way she eats will shift as a result. Do you see how our beliefs hold us back? In these situations, do you notice how there's a want and a bigger want? What's going on is that there's a conflict between the want, a goal, and the bigger want, the feeling of safety, which is the feeling of what's comfortable and familiar. Helping your clients figure out what that bigger want is, is key to unlocking a belief because that's the subconscious block that's keeping them from getting what they want. In our example, Ellen's want is to lose weight, but her bigger want is to feel love and comfort, something that ever since she was a kid, she learned she could obtain by eating candy. Attempts at weight loss then trigger in Allen a feeling of danger, a feeling of comfort being taken away. Losing weight is a want, but love and comfort is a bigger want. And since the subconscious always wins, the candy always wins. Since the bigger want, the need for safety will always win. We need to find new ways to satisfy those bigger wants in a way that doesn't act in conflict with our goals. As a Health Coach, it's your job to get creative and help your clients find new ways to satisfy their bigger wants so that they can achieve their goals while keeping their hardwired need for safety satisfied. When we talk about peeling back the layers to get to the core of the onion, this is the stuff that's at the core. These thoughts, these ways of being enacting are so engrained in each and every one of us that we let them operate automatically and without a question. This kind of stuff will stick with you for your whole life if you don't challenge it. These stories we tell ourselves as children become the stories that guide our behavior. And in our heads, it seems totally logical because our subconscious has been letting it guide as logic this entire time. Your job as a coach is to recognize how your client's subconscious is working to sabotage their success by keeping them safe when they're never actually in danger. In this module, we'll teach you just how to do that. For now, let's recap. Our subconscious brains overdrive all of our behavior and they act impulsively filtering everything as safe or unsafe based on what we input as logic. This is problematic because it's run on the faulty logic we've developed as children. We go through our lives thinking that our experiences create our perspectives when really it's the other way around. So if you want a change, we need to do some exploring and find the belief we developed long ago to keep us safe, the bigger want that's blocking us from our goals. Are you ready to start identifying the beliefs that are holding you back so you can shift your perspective? Would you find yourself getting stuck over and over again in your life? To get you thinking about where your beliefs have emerged from, complete the Trace the Roots of Your Fears worksheet. Thanks so much for watching. See you in the next lecture.

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Duration: 10 minutes and 58 seconds
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Language: English
License: Dotsub - Standard License
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Views: 5
Posted by: integrativenutrition on Jul 10, 2018

Transcend Your Perspective_Final

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