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[Ray William Johnson (RayWJ)] What’s happening guys? Man, have you ever had one of those days, you know, one of those days where everything is (beep) up! You trying to re-stock the wine on the shelves and it just (beep) falls over. [Wine Disaster - Clip] (Laughing) [Ray William Johnson (RayWJ)] Source: Man, that really sucked! There is no reason to wine about it! Get it! Wine’ About It! Man, (beep) this, I quit! Stupid, no, but this unfortunate occurrence, shot off, what looks like a cell phone filming a security camera got 1/2 million views in a week and I just learned last night that Failblog picked it up, so now its gonna blow up, like (explosion). Source: But I gotta say if you look at the footage, it doesn’t look like the guys fault, it didn’t seem like he bumped anything, it was just like he was stocking the shelves. Like stocking these shelves. All day long, Stocking these shelves while I sing this song. Whoa…. (bang) Man, (beep) this, I’m going on break. (The DUDE ABIDES) see it wasn’t the dudes fault! In fact, it looks like he even tried to stop it, which is way more that I would of done. Shot if that would of happened to me, I would of just sit back and laugh and maybe make a few jokes (A few LULZ) about it, like: “whip cream pour like water falls”. Admittedly I would of also been as drunk as hell! Which is exactly why I don’t work at a liquor store. (NO WILL POWER). [Ray William Johnson (RayWJ) - Text] Source: Alright, next video, it definitely isn’t funny but I’m guessing it go like 500,000 views in 3 days because its one of those videos that you watch and they you go: “HOLY **CK, DID YOU SEE THAT”! Yah, its this dude, riding this motorcycle here, and he’s got a helmet cam on. You know, first person shooter style. (COD FTW..?) Then he, unfortunately gets rear-ended. [Biker - Clip] (rear-ended) [Ray William Johnson (RayWJ) - Text] Oh, (beep) that lucky bastard landed on his feet. Did you notice how trashed his bike was! It looks like a friggin jig-saw puzzle! The dude is lucky he’s not under that car, too. I don’t know, I was impressed with that video, you guys probably weren’t but you guys aren’t impressed with anything anymore, I mean, (EVERYTHING I REVIEW) everything I review, you guys are like, YOU: Yes, that’s cool, Ray, but did you see the homeless guy with the golden voice! Now don’t ask me why, why my impersonation of you sounds like you sounds kind of link a drag-queen. YOU: All that rear-ending in this video gave me a boner! (giggles) Alright, calm down, now I also wanna point out in this video that the women who hit him, it looks like she might be putting a cell phone away in about 20 seconds in. Now, to be fair, it certainly isn’t clear from this video but I hope she wasn’t using her cell phone while she was driving! YOU: Maybe she was se*-ting! I don’t know, alright, to the woman’s credit she did seem really concerned. [Biker - Clip] Source: (rear-ended) [Woman] Are you okay? Are you okay? [Ray William Johnson (RayWJ) - Text] I think at one point in the video if you watch the whole thing, I think she tries to hug him. YOU: Yah, did you see the homeless guy with the golden voice? Yah, I definitely say it, we all saw it. [Cool Transition] blogging service. week came from a place that nobody looks to entertainment any more Television. ZING! Now the part that went viral is actually a clip from a game show called Family Feud, now since the show is on daytime Television, most of the answers the contestants give are tame and family friendly. But this dude is asked to name something that gets passed around? [Broderick Steven "Steve" Harvey (born January 17, 1957) - Clip] Name something that gets passed around? [Chris - Contestant] (hits the buzzer) [Steve Harvey - Clip] Chris? [Chris - Contestant] A joint. (ha, ha, ha, ha) [Ray William Johnson (RayWJ)] Now, I just like to point out not only is the host Steve Harvey, his reaction is hilarious, but he also has one of the most epic mustaches in Television! Almost as epics as Alex Trebek’s. YOU: Does he have the golden voice? But no, he’s just funny. But, look, the guy mentions a joint and Steve doesn’t want him to even touch him. He’s like: “Yo, get the (beep) off me, whitey!” But that guys answer is not what got the video 2.1 million views in a week and a half. (1.5 weeks)! No, what got that video all those views on Youtube is what follows. [Steve Harvey - Clip] Now, Chris, I don’t know what 100 people thought we were talking to in some nice little mall across good old America, but I’m pretty sure the people didn’t the survey people, hey, an illegal drug. Lets turn around and see how many weed heads are out there with Chris? A Joint! [Family Feud - Clip] 8 (on the board) [Ray William Johnson (RayWJ)] Now, admittedly I haven’t watched Family Feud since that fat guy used to host it, but I think its hilarious that the people who answered the survey were talking about weed! How did all those people answer weed! What were they surveying Snoop Dogg! And Dr. Dre! And in fact a joint was answer number five, what the hell were answers number one and two? Get passed around like, a Youtube kitty video! Like Your girlfriend at a frat party! I mean, I don’t really know, I do know that (beep) cracked me up! And Steve of course walks off, like he couldn’t believe that answer! We all know that as soon as that dude said: “JOINT”. Steve left early to go get high! Oh, that reminds me I need to go smoke a fat Bowl! You know what never smokes a fat bowl, oh, wait, wait wait, I almost forgot I put up a new video on the Your Favorite Martian Channel a new cartoon! Its here bam! Right there. Bam! Its awesome, its got zombies, its got love and (beep) for valentines day, the best music video ever, that you’ve ever seen! But maybe my opinion is bias, anyway it would be awesome if you guys check it out! Bam right there, ha, ha, ha. YOU: A new music video, that’s great but do you have a golden voice? No, but you knwo what does have a gold voice the comment question of the day that comes from a usernamed bam (Holty2k6) and he said: [Holty2k6] My comment question of the day is: What makes you angry? [Ray William Johnson (RayWJ)] So, What makes you angry? Leave your interesting and creative responses in the comment section below, or on Facebook or Twitter [Cool Transition] [Ray William Johnson] But thanks for watching today’s episode of Equals Three, I’m Ray William Johnson, and I approve this message. So tell me guys, if you ruled a country what would you name it?

Video Details

Duration: 6 minutes and 31 seconds
Country: United States
Language: English
Producer: Ray William Johnson
Director: Ray William Johnson
Views: 215
Posted by: spongesebastian on Feb 16, 2011

Equals Three with RayWilliamJohnson. (thanks to for the transcript)

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