L'art de la bise

Duration: 3 minutes and 56 seconds

Country: France

Language: French (France)

License: Public Domain

Genre: Animated

Views: 3,291 (328 embedded)

Posted by: julie.la.rousse on Nov 6, 2007

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In French, we say "as simple as a hello" to describe something easy.
As simple as a hello?
But saying "hello" in French is far from being easy.
And especially for a foreigner.
Because the French don't just say "hello" or shake hands.
They give a "bise" or kiss on the cheeks.
And kissing is an art in itself.
Those who haven't learned it in their childhood like most French kids,
- "Come on, give a kiss to auntie!" -
are often feeling uneasy.
The unconfortable foreigner tries to lean, with his lips pushed forward and his arms hanging limply by his side,
not knowing if he's actually supposed to touch the other with the lips or just kiss the air.
Don't laugh.
All the poor exchange students are familiar with this embarrassement
when they're meeting their host families for the first time,
and when suddenly, everybody is trying to kiss them.
To learn how to kiss, four questions must be answered.
When? Who? How? How many?
When?
When you're meeting people in your spare time,
sometimes in the morning at work,
and always when you're meeting friends.
Of course, the quantity of kissing is proportionate to the amount of friends.
If there are already 15 people at the party,
you would starve to death before getting access to the buffet.
Those who are used to waving their hands to say "hello" might find this a bit tiresome.
Who?
You need to consider the family links, the level of friendship, the working relationship,
the age and the social status of the person.
For instance, you can't kiss your boss.
Or rather, you have to wait for him to initiate the kiss.
But you can kiss your colleagues all you want.
For men, it's more complicated.
Some men kiss other men if they're friends or relatives,
but not always.
Young people tend to kiss a lot, including young men.
How?
Kissing creates an immediate sense of intimacy.
As a behaviour, it can be compared to animal sniffing, but it's also a good way to start flirting.
The intensity, the lenght and the conviction put into the kiss can thus vary.
You just have to follow your feelings.
But if you don't really know the person, it's better to be cautious.
How many?
The number of kisses is the main problem.
Parisians kiss twice,
people from the South three times.
And in some regions, people even kiss four times.
It can be very unsettling to kiss someone if you don't know where the person is coming from,
as it is very unpleasant to reach for a third kiss when the person is already turning away,
or to stop after two kisses when the other wants more.
Even the French people don't really know how many kisses they are supposed to give.
People from the same city may not agree
on the amount of kiss you have to give.
How can we explain those uncertainties?
The reason is the need to take into account the social status.
In France, the distinction between the social classes is still important.
In a nutshell, middle and upper-middle class tend to kiss less
than the working class, who rarely stop before four kisses.
All those elements make it tricky for foreigners to fully understand the kissing process.
A good idea would be to publish a French map of the kiss
that would give the number of kisses according to the place and the social status.
Such a map would be useful not only to the tourists, but also to the French themselves!