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Annotated captions of Tony Robbins on why we do what we do in English

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(Applause)

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Thank you. I have to tell you I'm both challenged and excited.

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My excitement is: I get a chance to give something back.

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My challenge is: the shortest seminar I usually do is 50 hours.

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(Laughter)

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I'm not exaggerating. I do weekends, and what I do --

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I do even more than that, obviously, coach people --

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but I'm into immersion. Because how did you learn language?

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You didn't learn it by just learning principles,

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you got in it and you did it so often that it became real.

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And the bottom line of why I'm here, besides being a crazy mofo,

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is that I'm really in a position --

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I'm not here to motivate you, obviously; you don't need that.

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And a lot of times that's what people think I do,

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and it's the furthest thing from it. What happens, though, is

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people say to me, "I don't need any motivation."

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And I say, "Well, that's interesting. That's not what I do."

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I'm the "Why" guy. I want to know why you do what you do.

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What is your motive for action?

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What is it that drives you in your life today? Not 10 years ago.

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Or are you running the same pattern? Because I believe

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that the invisible force of internal drive, activated,

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is the most important thing in the world.

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I'm here because I believe emotion is the force of life.

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All of us here have great minds.

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You know? Most of us here have great minds, right?

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I don't know about another category, but we all know how to think.

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And with our minds we can rationalize anything.

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We can make anything happen. We can -- I agree with what was described

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a few days ago, about this idea that people work in their self-interest.

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But we all know that that's bullshit at times.

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You don't work in your self-interest all the time,

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because when emotion comes into it,

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the wiring changes in the way it functions.

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And so it's wonderful for us to think intellectually

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about how the life of the world is, and especially

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those who are very smart -- we can play this game in our head.

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But I really want to know what's driving you.

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And what I would like to maybe invite you to do

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by the end of this talk is explore where you are today,

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for two reasons. One: so that you can contribute more. And two:

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so that hopefully we can not just understand other people more,

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but maybe appreciate them more, and create the kinds of connections

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that can stop some of the challenges

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that we face in our society today.

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They're only going to get magnified

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by the very technology that's connecting us,

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because it's making us intersect. And that intersection

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doesn't always create the view of "everybody now understands everybody,

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and everybody appreciates everybody."

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So, I've had an obsession basically for 30 years, and that obsession has been,

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"What makes the difference in the quality of peoples lives?

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What makes the difference in their performance?"

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Because that's what I got hired to do.

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I've got to produce the result now.

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That's what I've done for 30 years. I get the phone call

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when the athlete is burning down on national television,

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and they were ahead by five strokes

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and now they can't get back on the course.

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And I've got to do something right now to get the result

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or nothing matters. I get the phone call

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when the child is going commit suicide,

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and I've got to do something right now. And in 29 years --

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I'm very grateful to tell you I've never lost one in 29 years.

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It doesn't mean I won't some day. But I haven't done it,

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and the reason is an understanding of these human needs that I want to talk to you about.

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So, when I get those calls about performance, that's one thing.

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How do you make a change?

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But also, I'm looking to see what is it

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that's shaping that person's ability to contribute,

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to do something beyond themselves. So maybe the real question is,

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you know, I look at life and say, there's two master lessons.

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One is: there's the science of achievement,

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which almost everything that's run is mastered to an amazing extent.

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That's "How do you take the invisible and make it visible," right?

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How do you take what you're dreaming of and make it happen?

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Whether it be your business, your contribution to society, money --

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whatever it is for you -- your body, your family.

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But the other lesson of life that is rarely mastered is the art of fulfillment.

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Because science is easy, right?

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We know the rules. You write the code. You follow the --

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and you get the results. Once you know the game

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you just, you know, you up the ante, don't you?

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But when it comes to fulfillment -- that's an art.

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And the reason is, it's about appreciation

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and it's about contribution. You can only feel so much by yourself.

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So, I've had an interesting laboratory to try to answer the question

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of the real question, which is what's the difference

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in somebody's life if you look at somebody like those people

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that you've given everything to? Like all the resources

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they say they need. You gave them not a 100-dollar computer;

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you gave them the best computer. You gave them love;

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you gave them joy. You were there to comfort them.

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And those people very often -- and you know some of them, I'm sure --

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end up the rest of their life with all this love, education, money

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and background, spending their life going in and out of rehab.

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And then you meet people that have been through ultimate pain --

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psychologically, sexually, spiritually, emotionally abused --

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and not always, but often, they become some of the people

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that contribute the most to society.

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So, the question we've got to ask ourselves really is, what is it?

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What is it that shapes us? And we live in a therapy culture.

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Most of us don't do that, but the culture's a therapy culture.

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And what I mean by that is the mindset that we are our past.

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And everybody in this room -- you wouldn't be in this room

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if you bought that theory --

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but the -- most of society thinks biography is destiny.

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The past equals the future. And of course it does if you live there.

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But what people in this room know,

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and what we have to remind ourselves, though --

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because you can know something intellectually, you can know what to do

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and then not use it, not apply it.

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So really, we're going to remind ourselves

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that decision is the ultimate power. That's what it really is.

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Now, when you ask people, you know,

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have you failed to achieve something?

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How many have ever failed to achieve

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something significant in your life? Say, "Aye."

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Audience: Aye.

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TR: Thanks for the interaction on a high level there.

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(Laughter)

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But if you ask people, why didn't you achieve something?

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Somebody who's working for you, you know, or a partner,

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or even yourself. When you fail to achieve a goal,

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what's the reason people say they fail to achieve?

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What do they tell you? Don't have the -- didn't know enough,

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didn't have the -- knowledge. Didn't have the -- money.

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Didn't have the -- time. Didn't have the -- technology. You know,

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I didn't have the right manager. Didn't have the ...

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Al Gore: Supreme Court. (Laughter)

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TR: And --

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(Applause)

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and --

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(Applause)

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-- what do all those, including the Supreme Court, have in common?

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(Laughter)

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They are a claim to you missing resources, and they may be accurate.

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You may not have the money; you may not have the Supreme Court;

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but that is not the defining factor.

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(Applause)

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And you correct me if I'm wrong.

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The defining factor is never resources; it's resourcefulness.

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And what I mean specifically, rather than just some phrase,

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is if you have emotion, human emotion, something that I experienced

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from you a day before yesterday at a level that is as profound

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as I've ever experienced, and if you'd communicated with that emotion

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I believe you would have beat his ass and won.

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(Applause)

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But, how easy for me to tell him what he should do.

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(Laughter)

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Idiot, Robbins. But I know when we watched the debate at that time,

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there were emotions that blocked people's ability

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to get this man's intellect and capacity.

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And the way that it came across to some people on that day --

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because I know people that wanted to vote in your direction and didn't,

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and I was upset. But there was emotion that was there.

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How many know what I'm talking about here? Say, "Aye."

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Audience: Aye.

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TR: So, emotion is it. And if we get the right emotion,

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we can get ourselves to do anything. We can get through it.

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If you're creative enough, playful enough, fun enough,

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can you get through to anybody? Yes or no?

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Audience: Yes.

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TR: If you don't have the money, but you're creative and determined enough,

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you find the way. So this is the ultimate resource.

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But this is not the story that people tell us, right?

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The story people tell us is a bunch of different stories.

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They tell us we don't have the resources, but ultimately,

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if you take a look here -- flip it up, if you would --

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they say, what are all the reasons they haven't accomplished that?

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Next one, please. He's broken my pattern, that son-of-a-bitch.

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(Laughter)

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But I appreciated the energy, I'll tell you that.

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(Laughter)

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What determines your resources? We've said decisions shape destiny,

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which is my focus here. If decisions shape destiny, what determines it

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is three decisions. What are you going to focus on?

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Right now, you have to decide what you're going to focus on.

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In this second, consciously or unconsciously, the minute you decide

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to focus on something you've got to give it a meaning,

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and whatever that meaning is produces emotion.

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Is this the end or the beginning? Is God punishing me

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or rewarding me, or is this the roll of the dice?

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An emotion, then, creates what we're going to do or the action.

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So, think about your own life,

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the decisions that have shaped your destiny.

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And that sounds really heavy, but in the last five or 10 years,

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15 years, how have there been some decisions you've made

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that if you'd made a different decision,

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your life would be completely different? How many can think about it?

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Honestly, better or worse? Say, "Aye."

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Audience: Aye.

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TR: So the bottom line is, maybe it was where to go to work,

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and you met the love of your life there.

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Maybe it was a career decision. I know the Google geniuses I saw here --

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I mean, I understand that their decision

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was to sell their technology at first. What if they made that decision

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versus to build their own culture? How would the world be different?

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How would their lives be different? Their impact?

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The history of our world is these decisions.

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When a woman stands up and says, "No, I won't go to the back of the bus,"

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she didn't just affect her life. That decision shaped our culture.

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Or someone standing in front of a tank. Or being in a position

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like Lance Armstrong, and someone says to you,

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"You've got testicular cancer." That's pretty tough for any male,

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especially if you ride a bike.

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(Laughter)

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You've got it in your brain; you've got it in your lungs.

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But what was his decision of what to focus on?

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Different than most people. What did it mean?

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It wasn't the end; it was the beginning. What am I going to do?

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He goes off and wins seven championships he never once won

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before the cancer, because he got emotional fitness,

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psychological strength. That's the difference in human beings

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that I've seen of the three million that I've been around.

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Because that's about my lab. I've had three million people

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from 80 different countries that I've had a chance to interact with

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over the last 29 years. And after a while, patterns become obvious.

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You see that South America and Africa

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may be connected in a certain way, right? Other people say,

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"Oh, that sounds ridiculous." It's simple. So, what shaped Lance?

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What shapes you? Two invisible forces. Very quickly. One: state.

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We all have had time.

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So if you had a time you did something, and after you did it

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you thought to yourself, I can't believe I said that,

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I can't believe I did that, that was so stupid -- who's been there?

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Say, "Aye."

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Audience: Aye.

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TR: Have you ever done something, after you did it, you go, "That was me!"

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(Laughter)

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Right? It wasn't your ability; it was your state.

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Your model of the world is what shapes you long term.

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Your model of the world is the filter. That's what's shaping us.

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That's what makes people make decisions.

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When we want to influence somebody, we've got to know

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what already influences them.

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And it's made up of three parts, I believe.

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First, what's your target? What are you after?

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Which, I believe -- it's not your desires.

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You can get your desires or goals. How many have ever got a goal

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or desire and thought, is this all there is?

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How many have been there? Say, "Aye."

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Audience: Aye.

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TR: So, it's needs we have. I believe there are six human needs.

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Second, once you know what the target that's driving you is

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and you uncover it for the truth -- you don't form it; you uncover it --

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then you find out what's your map,

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what's the belief systems that are telling you how to get those needs.

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Some people think the way to get those needs is destroy the world,

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some people is to build something, create something, love someone.

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And then there's the fuel you pick. So very quickly, six needs.

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Let me tell you what they are. First one: certainty.

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Now, these are not goals or desires, these are universal.

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Everyone needs certainty that they can avoid pain

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and at least be comfortable. Now, how do you get it?

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Control everybody? Develop a skill? Give up? Smoke a cigarette?

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And if you got totally certain, ironically,

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even though we all need that --

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like if you're not certain about your health, or your children,

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or money, you don't think about much.

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You're not sure if the ceiling's going to hold up,

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you're not going to listen to any speaker.

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But, while we go for certainty differently, if we get total certainty,

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we get what? What do you feel if you're certain?

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You know what's going to happen, when it's going to happen,

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how it's going to happen -- what would you feel?

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Bored out of your minds. So, God, in Her infinite wisdom,

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(Laughter)

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gave us a second human need, which is uncertainty.

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We need variety. We need surprise.

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How many of you here love surprises? Say, "Aye."

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Audience: Aye.

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TR: Bullshit. You like the surprises you want.

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(Laughter)

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The ones you don't want you call problems, but you need them.

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So, variety is important. Have you ever rented a video or a film

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that you've already seen? Who's done this? Get a fucking life.

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(Laughter)

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All right. Why are you doing it? You're certain it's good

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because you read it before, saw it before, but you're hoping

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it's been long enough you've forgotten, that there's variety.

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Third human need, critical: significance. We all need to feel

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important, special, unique. You can get it by making more money.

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You can do it by being more spiritual.

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You can do it by getting yourself in a situation where you put

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more tattoos and earrings in places humans don't want to know.

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Whatever it takes. The fastest way to do this,

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if you have no background, no culture, no belief and resources

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or resourcefulness, is violence. If I put a gun to your head

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and I live in the 'hood, instantly I'm significant.

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Zero to 10. How high? 10. How certain am I that

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you're going to respond to me? 10. How much uncertainty?

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Who knows what's going to happen next? Kind of exciting.

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Like climbing up into a cave and doing that stuff

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all the way down there. Total variety and uncertainty.

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And it's significant, isn't it? So you want to risk your life for it.

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So that's why violence has always been around and will be around

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unless we have a consciousness change as a species.

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Now, you can get significance a million ways,

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but to be significant, you've got to be unique and different.

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Here's what we really need: connection and love -- fourth need.

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12:33

We all want it. Most people settle for connection

tedtalks 12:33
12:35

because love's too scary. Don't want to get hurt.

tedtalks 12:35
12:38

Who here has ever been hurt in an intimate relationship? Say, "Aye."

tedtalks 12:38
12:39

(Laughter)

tedtalks 12:39
12:41

If you don't raise your hand, you'll have had other shit too, come on.

tedtalks 12:41
12:42

(Laughter)

tedtalks 12:42
12:43

And you're going to get hurt again.

tedtalks 12:43
12:45

Aren't you glad you came to this positive visit?

tedtalks 12:45
12:46

(Laughter)

tedtalks 12:46
12:49

But here's what's true -- we need it. We can do it through intimacy,

tedtalks 12:49
12:52

through friendship, through prayer, through walking in nature.

tedtalks 12:53
12:55

If nothing else works for you, get a dog. Don't get a cat. Get a dog,

tedtalks 12:55
12:57

because if you leave for two minutes, it's like you've been gone

tedtalks 12:57
12:59

for six months when you show back up again five minutes later, right?

tedtalks 12:59
13:00

(Laughter)

tedtalks 13:00
13:02

Now, these first four needs, every human finds a way to meet.

tedtalks 13:03
13:05

Even if you lie to yourself, you need to have split personalities.

tedtalks 13:06
13:09

But the last two needs -- the first four needs are called

tedtalks 13:09
13:11

the needs of the personalities, is what I call it --

tedtalks 13:11
13:13

the last two are the needs of the spirit.

tedtalks 13:14
13:16

And this is where fulfillment comes. You won't get fulfillment

tedtalks 13:16
13:19

from the first four. You'll figure a way -- smoke, drink, do whatever --

tedtalks 13:19
13:20

to meet the first four, but the last two -- number five:

tedtalks 13:21
13:23

you must grow. We all know the answer here.

tedtalks 13:23
13:26

If you don't grow, you're what? If a relationship's not growing,

tedtalks 13:26
13:28

if a business is not growing, if you're not growing,

tedtalks 13:28
13:29

it doesn't matter how much money you have,

tedtalks 13:29
13:31

how many friends you have, how many people love you,

tedtalks 13:31
13:34

you feel like hell. And the reason we grow, I believe,

tedtalks 13:34
13:36

is so we have something to give of value.

tedtalks 13:37
13:39

Because the sixth need is to contribute beyond ourselves.

tedtalks 13:40
13:41

Because we all know, corny as it sounds,

tedtalks 13:42
13:45

the secret to living is giving. We all know life's not about me;

tedtalks 13:45
13:47

it's about we. This culture knows that. This room knows that.

tedtalks 13:47
13:50

And it's exciting. When you see Nicholas up here talking about

tedtalks 13:50
13:52

his $100 computer, the most passionate exciting thing is:

tedtalks 13:52
13:55

here's a genius, but he's got a calling now.

tedtalks 13:56
13:58

You can feel the difference in him and it's beautiful.

tedtalks 13:59
14:01

And that calling can touch other people. In my own life,

tedtalks 14:01
14:03

my life was touched because when I was 11 years old,

tedtalks 14:03
14:06

Thanksgiving, no money, no food -- we're not going to starve,

tedtalks 14:06
14:09

but my father was totally messed up. My mom was letting him know

tedtalks 14:09
14:12

how bad he messed up. And somebody came to the door

tedtalks 14:12
14:14

and delivered food. My father made three decisions.

tedtalks 14:15
14:17

I know what they were briefly. His focus was: "This is charity.

tedtalks 14:18
14:20

What does it mean? I'm worthless. What've I got to do?

tedtalks 14:21
14:23

Leave my family." Which he did. The time was one of the most painful

tedtalks 14:24
14:27

experiences of life. My three decisions gave me a different path.

tedtalks 14:28
14:31

I said, "Focus on: 'there's food'" -- what a concept, you know.

tedtalks 14:31
14:32

(Laughter)

tedtalks 14:32
14:33

Second -- but this is what changed my life,

tedtalks 14:33
14:36

this is what shaped me as a human being -- "Somebody's gift.

tedtalks 14:36
14:39

I don't even know who it is." My father always said,

tedtalks 14:39
14:42

"No one gives a shit." And all of a sudden, somebody I don't know,

tedtalks 14:42
14:44

they're not asking for anything, they're just giving our family food,

tedtalks 14:44
14:47

looking out for us. It made me believe this: "What does it mean

tedtalks 14:47
14:50

that strangers care?" And what that made me decide is,

tedtalks 14:51
14:52

if strangers care about me and my family, I care about them.

tedtalks 14:53
14:54

What am I going to do? I'm going to do something

tedtalks 14:54
14:57

to make a difference. So, when I was 17, I went out one day

tedtalks 14:57
14:59

on Thanksgiving. It was my target for years to

tedtalks 14:59
15:00

have enough money to feed two families.

tedtalks 15:00
15:02

The most fun thing I ever did in my life, the most moving.

tedtalks 15:03
15:05

Then next year I did four. I didn't tell anybody what I was doing.

tedtalks 15:05
15:07

Next year eight. I wasn't doing it for brownie points,

tedtalks 15:08
15:09

but after eight, I thought, shit, I could use some help.

tedtalks 15:09
15:11

(Laughter)

tedtalks 15:11
15:13

So sure enough, I went out and what did I do?

tedtalks 15:13
15:15

I got my friends involved and I grew companies

tedtalks 15:15
15:17

and then I got 11 companies and I built the foundation.

tedtalks 15:17
15:19

Now, 18 years later, I'm proud to tell you, last year

tedtalks 15:19
15:22

we fed two million people in 35 countries through our foundation,

tedtalks 15:23
15:24

all during the holidays: Thanksgiving, Christmas --

tedtalks 15:24
15:25

(Applause)

tedtalks 15:25
15:26

-- in all the different countries around the world.

tedtalks 15:26
15:27

It's been fantastic.

tedtalks 15:27
15:28

(Applause)

tedtalks 15:28
15:29

Thank you.

tedtalks 15:29
15:30

(Applause)

tedtalks 15:30
15:32

So, I don't tell you that to brag; I tell you because I'm proud

tedtalks 15:32
15:35

of human beings, because they get excited to contribute

tedtalks 15:35
15:38

once they've had the chance to experience it, not talk about it.

tedtalks 15:39
15:43

So, finally -- and I'm about out of time -- the target that shapes you --

tedtalks 15:44
15:45

here's what's different about people. We have the same needs,

tedtalks 15:46
15:48

but are you a certainty freak? Is that what you value most,

tedtalks 15:48
15:52

or uncertainty? This man here couldn't be a certainty freak

tedtalks 15:52
15:55

if he climbed through those caves. Are you driven by significance

tedtalks 15:55
15:57

or love? We all need all six, but whatever

tedtalks 15:57
15:59

your lead system is, tilts you in a different direction.

tedtalks 15:59
16:01

And as you move in a direction, you have a destination or destiny.

tedtalks 16:02
16:05

The second piece is the map. Think of that as the operating system

tedtalks 16:05
16:07

that tells you how to get there. And some people's map is:

tedtalks 16:08
16:10

"I'm going to save lives even if I die for other people,"

tedtalks 16:10
16:11

and they're firemen. Somebody else is:

tedtalks 16:12
16:14

"I'm going to kill people to do it." They're trying to meet

tedtalks 16:14
16:18

the same needs of significance, right? They want to honor God

tedtalks 16:18
16:20

or honor their family, but they have a different map.

tedtalks 16:20
16:22

And there are seven different beliefs. I can't go through them

tedtalks 16:22
16:25

because I'm done. The last piece is emotion.

tedtalks 16:25
16:28

I'd say one of the parts of the map is like time. Some people's idea

tedtalks 16:28
16:31

of a long time is 100 years. Somebody else's is three seconds,

tedtalks 16:31
16:32

which is what I have.

tedtalks 16:32
16:33

(Laughter)

tedtalks 16:33
16:35

And the last one I've already mentioned, that fell to you.

tedtalks 16:35
16:37

If you've got a target and you've got a map and let's say --

tedtalks 16:38
16:41

I can't use Google because I love Macs and they haven't made it

tedtalks 16:41
16:43

good for Macs yet -- so if you use MapQuest -- how many have made

tedtalks 16:43
16:45

this fatal mistake of using MapQuest at some time?

tedtalks 16:45
16:46

(Laughter)

tedtalks 16:46
16:48

You use this thing and you don't get there. Well, imagine

tedtalks 16:48
16:51

if your beliefs guarantee you can never get to where you want to go?

tedtalks 16:51
16:52

(Laughter)

tedtalks 16:52
16:54

The last thing is emotion.

tedtalks 16:54
16:58

Now, here's what I'll tell you about emotion. There are 6,000 emotions

tedtalks 16:58
17:00

that we all have words for in the English language,

tedtalks 17:00
17:02

which is just a linguistic representation, right,

tedtalks 17:02
17:06

that changes by language. But if your dominant emotions --

tedtalks 17:06
17:09

if I had more time, I have 20,000 people or 1,000,

tedtalks 17:09
17:11

and I have them write down all the emotions that they experience

tedtalks 17:11
17:13

in an average week, and I gave them as long as they needed,

tedtalks 17:14
17:15

and on one side they write empowering emotions,

tedtalks 17:15
17:16

the other's disempowering --

tedtalks 17:16
17:18

guess how many emotions people experience? Less than 12.

tedtalks 17:19
17:22

And half of those make them feel like shit. So they got five or six

tedtalks 17:22
17:25

good frickin' feelings, right? It's like they feel "happy, happy,

tedtalks 17:25
17:28

excited, oh shit, frustrated, frustrated, overwhelmed, depressed."

tedtalks 17:29
17:31

How many of you know somebody who no matter what happens

tedtalks 17:31
17:33

finds a way to get pissed off? How many know somebody like this?

tedtalks 17:33
17:34

(Laughter)

tedtalks 17:34
17:38

Or, no matter what happens, they find a way to be happy or excited.

tedtalks 17:38
17:40

How may know somebody like this? Come on.

tedtalks 17:40
17:43

When 9/11 happened -- I'll finish with this -- I was in Hawaii.

tedtalks 17:44
17:47

I was with 2,000 people from 45 countries. We were translating

tedtalks 17:47
17:49

four languages simultaneously for a program

tedtalks 17:49
17:52

that I was conducting for a week. The night before was called

tedtalks 17:52
17:55

"Emotional Mastering." I got up, had no plan for the this, and I said --

tedtalks 17:56
17:58

we had all these fireworks -- I do crazy shit, fun stuff --

tedtalks 17:59
18:01

and then at the end I stopped -- I had this plan I was going to say

tedtalks 18:01
18:03

but I never do what I'm going to say. And all of a sudden I said,

tedtalks 18:03
18:07

"When do people really start to live? When they face death."

tedtalks 18:07
18:08

And then I went through this whole thing about,

tedtalks 18:09
18:11

if you weren't going to get off this island, if nine days from now

tedtalks 18:11
18:14

you were going to die, who would you call, what would you say,

tedtalks 18:14
18:18

what would you do? One woman -- well, that night is when 9/11 happened --

tedtalks 18:19
18:21

one woman had come to the seminar and when she came there,

tedtalks 18:21
18:24

her previous boyfriend had been kidnapped and murdered.

tedtalks 18:25
18:28

Her friend, her new boyfriend, wanted to marry her, and she said no.

tedtalks 18:28
18:30

He said, "If you leave and go to that Hawaii thing, it's over with us."

tedtalks 18:30
18:32

She said, "It's over." When I finished that night, she called him

tedtalks 18:32
18:35

and left a message -- true story -- at the top of the World Trade Center

tedtalks 18:35
18:38

where he worked, saying, "Honey, I love you, I just want you to know

tedtalks 18:39
18:42

I want to marry you. It was stupid of me." She was asleep,

tedtalks 18:42
18:45

because it was 3 a.m. for us, when he called her back

tedtalks 18:45
18:47

from the top and said, "Honey, I can't tell you what this means."

tedtalks 18:48
18:50

He said, "I don't know how to tell you this,

tedtalks 18:50
18:52

but you gave me the greatest gift because I'm going to die."

tedtalks 18:53
18:55

And she played the recording for us in the room.

tedtalks 18:55
18:58

She was on Larry King later, and he said, "You're probably wondering

tedtalks 18:58
19:00

how on Earth this could happen to you twice." And he said,

tedtalks 19:00
19:03

"All I can say to you is, this must be God's message to you,

tedtalks 19:03
19:06

honey. From now on, every day give your all, love your all.

tedtalks 19:06
19:10

Don't let anything ever stop you." She finishes, and a man stands up

tedtalks 19:10
19:12

and he says, "I'm from Pakistan; I'm a Muslim.

tedtalks 19:13
19:15

I'd love to hold your hand and say

tedtalks 19:15
19:19

I'm sorry, but, frankly, this is retribution." I can't tell you the rest

tedtalks 19:19
19:22

because I'm out of time.

tedtalks 19:22
19:28

(Laughter)

tedtalks 19:32
19:34

10 seconds.

tedtalks 19:34
19:37

(Applause)

tedtalks 19:37
19:39

10 seconds, that's all. I want to be respectful. 10 seconds.

tedtalks 19:39
19:41

All I can tell you is, I brought this man on stage

tedtalks 19:41
19:44

with a man from New York who worked in the World Trade Center,

tedtalks 19:44
19:46

because I had about 200 New Yorkers there. More than 50

tedtalks 19:46
19:49

lost their entire companies, their friends, marking off their

tedtalks 19:49
19:52

Palm Pilots -- one financial trader, this woman made of steel, bawling --

tedtalks 19:53
19:54

30 friends crossing off that all died.

tedtalks 19:55
19:58

And what I did to people is said, "What are we going to focus on?

tedtalks 19:59
20:01

What does this mean and what are we going to do?"

tedtalks 20:02
20:04

And I took the group and got people to focus on:

tedtalks 20:04
20:06

if you didn't lose somebody today, your focus is going to be

tedtalks 20:06
20:08

how to serve somebody else. There are people --

tedtalks 20:08
20:10

then one woman got up and she was so angry and screaming and yelling.

tedtalks 20:11
20:12

Then I found out she wasn't from New York; she's not an American;

tedtalks 20:13
20:15

she doesn't know anybody here. I said, "Do you always get angry?"

tedtalks 20:16
20:18

She said, "Yes." Guilty people got guilty, sad people got sad.

tedtalks 20:19
20:22

And I took these two men and did what I call an indirect negotiation.

tedtalks 20:22
20:25

Jewish man with family in the occupied territory, someone in New York

tedtalks 20:25
20:28

who would have died if he was at work that day, and this man

tedtalks 20:28
20:29

who wanted to be a terrorist and made it very clear.

tedtalks 20:30
20:31

And the integration that happened is on a film,

tedtalks 20:32
20:34

which I'll be happy to send you, so you can really see

tedtalks 20:34
20:35

what actually happened instead of my verbalization of it,

tedtalks 20:36
20:37

but the two of them not only came together and

tedtalks 20:38
20:39

changed their beliefs and morals of the world,

tedtalks 20:39
20:41

but they worked together to bring, for almost four years now,

tedtalks 20:42
20:44

through various mosques and synagogues, the idea

tedtalks 20:44
20:46

of how to create peace. And he wrote a book, which is called

tedtalks 20:46
20:50

"My Jihad, My Way of Peace." So, transformation can happen.

tedtalks 20:50
20:55

So my invitation to you is this: explore your web, the web in here --

tedtalks 20:56
21:00

the needs, the beliefs, the emotions that are controlling you,

tedtalks 21:00
21:03

for two reasons: so there's more of you to give -- and achieve too,

tedtalks 21:03
21:05

we all want to do it -- but I mean give,

tedtalks 21:05
21:07

because that's what's going to fill you up. And secondly,

tedtalks 21:07
21:10

so you can appreciate -- not just understand, that's intellectual,

tedtalks 21:10
21:13

that's the mind -- but appreciate what's driving other people.

tedtalks 21:13
21:15

It's the only way our world's going to change. God bless you.

tedtalks 21:15
21:17

Thank you. I hope this was of service.

tedtalks 21:17
21:20

(Applause)