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Transcript for BP Spills Coffee
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| Time | Content |
|---|---|
| 00:00 → 00:02 |
-(man) According to the charts, this is the best plan of action. |
| 00:02 → 00:04 |
(others agreeing) |
| 00:05 → 00:06 |
Don't worry about it. |
| 00:06 → 00:08 |
It's a small spill on a very large table. |
| 00:08 → 00:12 |
-Sir, I think we're underestimating just how much coffee was spilt. |
| 00:12 → 00:13 |
-Yeah, that's a lot of coffee. |
| 00:13 → 00:16 |
-Well, we'd better hurry up, because it's almost reached my laptop. |
| 00:16 → 00:17 |
-Calm down, calm down. |
| 00:17 → 00:19 |
Boom. |
| 00:19 → 00:20 |
-It's also gonna destroy all the fish. |
| 00:20 → 00:23 |
-Oh, boy. Okay. Boom, look at that. |
| 00:23 → 00:26 |
-My God, it's encroaching on my map of Louisiana. |
| 00:26 → 00:29 |
-Hwoo. Okay, okay. |
| 00:29 → 00:30 |
Oh no, fish! -Laptop... |
| 00:30 → 00:31 |
-Map... -(woman) Okay. |
| 00:31 → 00:33 |
-Fish... (all talking at once) |
| 00:33 → 00:36 |
-Wait. Wait, wait, wait, wait! |
| 00:36 → 00:38 |
I've got a brilliant idea. |
| 00:40 → 00:42 |
-Oh. -Okay. |
| 00:45 → 00:47 |
-Okay. Jones, you gotta hurry up. |
| 00:47 → 00:50 |
I think the public is getting suspicious. |
| 00:50 → 00:52 |
-All set. |
| 00:55 → 00:57 |
Damn, didn't work. |
| 00:57 → 01:00 |
(others groan) |
| 01:02 → 01:06 |
-What? Oh, my God. We are really screwed now! |
| 01:06 → 01:09 |
-Look, garbage will fall into the coffee cups, |
| 01:09 → 01:11 |
stopping further spillage. |
| 01:11 → 01:13 |
-Now there's just coffee and garbage. |
| 01:13 → 01:16 |
-Wait, I've got an idea. |
| 01:16 → 01:18 |
(snipping) |
| 01:20 → 01:22 |
Damn, I really thought that would work. |
| 01:22 → 01:23 |
-Well, maybe it doesn't work right away. |
| 01:23 → 01:27 |
Let's observe it for three hours and then reassess it. |
| 01:27 → 01:28 |
-Okay. |
| 01:30 → 01:31 |
We just wasted three hours! |
| 01:31 → 01:34 |
-Damn it! -That's everything I've got. |
| 01:34 → 01:36 |
-The gentlemen from Halliburton are here. |
| 01:36 → 01:38 |
-Send them in. |
| 01:38 → 01:39 |
-Gentlemen, we've-- oh my, God! |
| 01:39 → 01:42 |
-You guys are partly responsible for this. |
| 01:42 → 01:45 |
You provided the styrofoam cups knowing they were unstable. |
| 01:45 → 01:47 |
-Oh no, don't put this on us. |
| 01:47 → 01:50 |
You know what? Halliburton doesn't have to listen to this. |
| 01:50 → 01:51 |
We are outta here. |
| 01:51 → 01:56 |
(all groaning and exclaiming) |
| 02:05 → 02:07 |
-(screaming) |
| 02:07 → 02:08 |
-Calm down! |
| 02:08 → 02:11 |
I've got Kevin Costner on the phone. |
| 02:11 → 02:14 |
He'll know what to do for sure. |
| 02:14 → 02:16 |
-(Kevin on speakerphone) How big is the spill? |
| 02:16 → 02:18 |
-Pretty major, Mr. Costner. |
| 02:18 → 02:19 |
-(Kevin) Do you have a golf ball? |
| 02:19 → 02:21 |
-I have a ping-pong ball. |
| 02:21 → 02:23 |
-(Kevin) Good, now throw it at the spill. |
| 02:28 → 02:29 |
What happened? |
| 02:29 → 02:30 |
-(all) Nothing. |
| 02:30 → 02:32 |
-(Kevin) You guys are fucked. |
| 02:32 → 02:32 |
(all wailing) |
| 02:37 → 02:41 |
(dramatic music plays) |
| 02:43 → 02:48 |
Captioned by SpongeSebastian |