Transcript for MAGIC BEER

-What's happening, guys?

Man, Christmas is over and we were all excited, right?

But not nearly as excited as this little kid.

-Have you been waiting a long time?

Too long.

His excitement got the better of him when his uncle did arrive.

-Now, that got a million views in five days.

I guess it was on the news in Ireland

and this had to be the most interesting thing on the news in like years

'cause y'all already know, local news is boring as s--t.

No, but that kid is cute is hell.

Look at his Santa's Little Helper onesie he's got there.

And I don't know why,

but all the comments from this video were asking if this kid died.

Did he die?

Did he died?

He suffered massive internal bleeding and he died.

What? No, he didn't die.

Yeah right, of course he died and the news just chose to run this footage anyway like,

"F--k that kid."

Okay, so I like love this next video.

At first when I saw it, I was like...

But then I was like...

At a million views in 2 months, the video is basically this beer pouring thing.

How? How the hell is it doing that?

Is that some kind of magic?

Look at that, pouring beer through the bottom.

What is this witchcraft bulls--t?

This must be how they serve beer at Hogwarts.

No seriously, I was really impressed with this video.

I don't know, maybe I'm impressed by dumb s--t

but I looked at that and I was like

did NASA invent that?

Now, I may have my historical facts wrong,

but I'm pretty sure Jesus invented beer.

And he would be proud of this, you know he would.

See the timeline of awesomeness with beer goes like this:

Beer is invented, then this thing is invented where you don't need to pour the beer,

and the later in the future invent a thing where you don't even put roofies in the beer

the roofies come in it.

So this last video is--

I'm not gonna lie, it's kinda f--ked up.

This video is old as hell; it's from 2003.

I have no idea why it's resurfaced, why it's getting popular again.

Anyway there's this bear stuck in this tree up here.

Animal control is gonna move in a trampoline here

and then shoot the bear with a tranquilizer dart

and it's all gonna go perfectly smooth, ain't it?

-Missoula, Montana, stay with me,

bear in tree plus trampoline

times tranquilizer gun equals comedy!

Oh! Yes!

[laughter and applause]

Let's see that again.

He's okay.

That's a real bear and he's all right.

He's all right.

-Yeah, I told you it was f--ked up.

Don't laugh or you're going to hell.

Now the clip that you saw that actually went viral was from Craig Kilborn's Show

which is why you can hear the audience laughing in the background.

-He's all right.

-But Kilborn was right.

The news actually reported that the bear was okay.

And here they are releasing him back to the wild the next day.

And it's great, I'm glad the bear is okay.

But that isn't to detract the fact that he f--king face-planted, look at that.

And as Kilborn points out,

the way they carry the bear away is just awful looking.

He's all limp and they got like one hand on his scruff

and one hand up his ass.

You know, it totally sucks that that happened,

but honestly, I can't think of what else they should've done.

You can't just let a bear run around the neighborhood, right?

Climbin' in your windows and snatchin' yo' honey up

Anyway, we're all glad that the bear ended up okay

and I can't "bear" to watch that anymore.

[chuckles] Get it?

Bear.

F--k you.

But you know what will always laugh at your corny jokes?

The comment question-- [dog barks]

F--k you, dog.

Dog better recognize.

But you know what will always laugh at your corny jokes?

The comment question of the day, which comes from a user named, bam!,

and he said...

-My comment question of the day is

why does the Kool-Aid Man say "Oh yeah"?

So, why does the Kool-Aid Man say, "Oh yeah"?

Leave your interesting or creative responses in the comments section below.

But thanks for watching today's episode of =3.

I'm Ray William Johnson and I approve this message.

So tell me guys,

what do you want for Christmas?

[Stalkin' Your Mom by Wax playing]

Captioned by SpongeSebastian