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Transcript for Hitler responds to the iPad

Time Content
00:00 → 00:03

We expect the iPad will be very popular

00:05 → 00:09

It will probably be sold out at Best Buy's here, and here

00:12 → 00:16

Though we may be able to find it at these other locations

00:19 → 00:22

That's fine, I'll just order it online

00:25 → 00:27

My Fuhrer

00:29 → 00:30

The iPad

00:31 → 00:33

The iPad won't support multitasking.

00:34 → 00:36

It will only be able to run one app at a time.

00:53 → 00:55

Anyone who wasn't planning on buying the iPad, please leave.

01:13 → 01:14

What the fuck!

01:16 → 01:18

Is this a joke? Fuck!

01:19 → 01:21

Who do they think they are?

01:23 → 01:25

What the hell is it then?

01:26 → 01:28

They didn't give it a camera, fine.

01:29 → 01:31

But it's on AT&T!

01:32 → 01:34

How am I supposed to use their crappy network?

01:35 → 01:37

They could have revolutionized the market!

01:38 → 01:40

It could have been amazing!

01:41 → 01:42

My Fuhrer, it can run iPhone apps.

01:43 → 01:45

iPhone Apps? I wanted a computer!

01:45 → 01:47

I wanted OS X!

01:47 → 01:49

My Fuhrer, it's also an eBook reader.

01:49 → 01:52

eBooks? If I wanted eBooks, I'd buy a Kindle.

01:53 → 01:54

This is bullshit!

01:56 → 01:58

It had all the potential in the world.

01:59 → 02:00

It could have changed the market.

02:00 → 02:02

It could have single handedly destroyed netbooks.

02:04 → 02:06

But what do we get instead?

02:07 → 02:09

An oversized iPod Touch!

02:10 → 02:13

The only thing it can do that my iPhone can't is to have split screens.

02:14 → 02:16

It can't even make phone calls!

02:18 → 02:20

There were so many rumors!

02:21 → 02:23

Stupid iPad!

02:27 → 02:29

I've spent so much time

02:31 → 02:32

whishing

02:33 → 02:34

dreaming!

02:35 → 02:37

That Apple would come out with the perfect tablet.

02:40 → 02:41

Shit!

02:43 → 02:45

It sounds like a fucking tampon!

02:46 → 02:48

There is nothing manly about it at all!

02:49 → 02:52

I wanted to watch videos of lolcats while laying on the couch.

02:54 → 02:56

But no. They won't even give it flash support.

02:57 → 02:59

They're still not giving us the full web like they promised with the iPhone.

03:00 → 03:03

How am I supposed to play Bloons?

03:06 → 03:08

Don't worry, you can play on my netbook.

03:15 → 03:18

This is the first time

03:19 → 03:20

in a long time

03:23 → 03:25

that Apple has disappointed me so much.

03:26 → 03:27

So sad.

03:32 → 03:34

No one better gift it to me.

03:41 → 03:44

I might as well wait for the HP slate now.

03:45 → 03:46

They'll probably actually get it right.

03:47 → 03:49

I've lost all my faith in Apple.

03:53 → 03:55

Leave me.