Breaking News_ All Online Data Lost

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Duration: 3 minutes and 29 seconds

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Posted by: arena on Jul 24, 2007

Officials confirm that all online data has been lost after the Internet crashed and was forced to restart.

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[Ad]
♫ Happening Now ♫
As you may know, the entire internet has crashed
More now on our continuing coverage ...
Welcome back to tell, there's still emerging tonight about this evening top story
The government is still dealing with the repercutions of the fatal error message
that appeared on millions of computer screens worldwide less than two hours ago
Just moments ago, FBI officials announced they have traced the crash of the internet tonight to this man
Eric Tipton, (....) Connecticut
Tipton said he had more than 35 windows opened on his computer at the time of the crash
he'd been downloading the IOLA tango discography from iTunes while streaming several YouTube videos,
listening to an npr broadcast, instant messaging his friends, checking three email accounts,
talking on skype and playing online poker,
all while installing the latest version of Firefox and updating his system software.
When he opened the Friend's MySpace profile,
an animated GIF of the Peanuts character Linus dancing started to play
along with the MIDI version of Justin Timberlake's Sexy Back.
Authorities believe it put too much strain on the internet, causing the global shutdown.
Tipton defended himself in a letter he transmitted to us
via an archaic telephone line based network of low quality printers
He said the screen froze up and there was nothing I could do.
I tried to force quit all the open applications but nothing worked.
Tipton pulled the computer power cord from the wall and replugged it in
Also the Internet did restart, Tipton found that all data had been lost.
At an emergency press conference, White House Press Secretary, Tony Snow,
admitted that the government does not have a back up of the internet
but had called always meant to get around to make it one
Snow added : "they are so mad at themselves right now".
Perhaps even harder hit was America's blogging community
Trillions of pages of commentary and diairies of daily (...) have been for ever erased
"Suddenly my life just seemed so boring"
"I feel like a (...) leading myself"
Nigeria was the first nation to report a full economic collapse from the internet crash
94 % of its Gross National Product came from internet ventures.
Several american organisations have already stepped forward to provide aid during the crisis :
the TV network ABC has begun 24 hours broadcasting of America's funniest home videos
to fill the void left by YouTube.
And in major urban areas, volunteers are handing out emergency (dia) tips,
celebrity gossip and humour's poems about office life.
A meeting between a coalition of internet power players has been arranged for a later tonight
The group includes Steeve Jobs, Bill Gates and Craig of Craig's list
When we return, one man, heroe, has struggled to pick up the pieces and rebuild his Flickr album.
♫ Happening Now ♫
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♫
♫

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