Sorting out the stage Here at your service, do or die, am I Lalalalalalalalala I have a finger in every pie, have I Lalalalalalalalalala Fortune has singled me out for success Lalalalalalalalalala A, bravo Figaro, bravo, bravissimo You have the problem I have the answer You cannot solve it, Figaro can Lalalalalalalalalala You have the problem I have the answer You cannot solve it, Figaro can I solve the problems, I am your man I am your man, I am your man I am sure I know this fellow, is it him? - Figaro - At your service Ah, Count Almaviva. What brings you here? Shhh, I'm here incognito Why? - In Madrid I met the most wondeful girl -Ahhh I followed her here She and her old father Have just moved into that house That house... the old doctor? Your lordship is in luck Really? Yes, in that house I'm the barber, the surgeon The herbalist, the vet, I run the place, hahaha That's useful Her father won't let her out She smiles at me from the balcony But she isn't the doctor's daughter, She is only his ward - Even better - Shhh, someone's coming Oh, will I see him today? Ah, Rosina, my love Look out! Keep away from that balcony! Parading yourself like that! If Don Basilio comes for your music lesson, tell him to wait Ahhh! I must marry her today Marry her? Him? You must propose before it's too late Noy until I'm certain that she loves me But as Count Almaviva you can demand to see her No, I won't tell her my name or my title I must find out if she loves me for myself You... you can help me I'll see what I can do Ah, Don Basilio, I need your help I'm determined to marry Rosina before someone else does Not before time. The rumour is Count Almaviva's in town Almaviva, just the man I don't want her to meet I thought he was after her in Madrid, that's why I brought her here What am I going to do? I have a plan to blacken his name and make him leave Seville Listen Start a rumour The slightest whisper Mere suggestion Missinformation Add a little defamation Plant it gently, oh, so gently Watch it grow and grow until it's taken root Keep it quiet Don't reveal it Don't confirm it Don't conceal it Fact is quickly lost in fiction Past all hope of contradiction This volcano of corruption overflows in an eruption Causing damage and corrosion With the mightiest explosion With the mightiest explosion It's as if the world were ending Or the wrath of God descending Storming, raging, never ending Till the world is upside down Though the slander is unfounded Its poor victim is so hounded Ostracised, humilliated That he wishes he were dead Though the slander is unfounded Its poor victim is so hounded Ostracised, humilliated That he wishes he were dead Ostracised, humilliated that he wishes he were dead Yes, he were dead, yes, he were dead Good idea, but there's no time I want a marriage contract now Rosina What's happened, Master Figaro Your darling guardian has decided to become your blushing bridegroom You're joking? How stupid can he be? - I might love another - Who? Well, there's a man who serenades me daily beneath my balcony But I don't know his name You mean Lindoro? Lindoro? - How do you know that? - Er... actually , he's my cousin He came to seek his fortune, but he's fallen hopelessly in love All he needs, though, is a signal Maybe, say, a letter? - Will this one do? - Already written? What a woman. I'll see he gets it Bye Ah, what was that scoundrel Figaro doing here? What are you two up to? In the future when I leave you I will see that you are guarded Tell the servants you're regarded now as under house arrest In the future when I leave you I will see that you are guarded Tell the servants you're regarded now as under house arrest Don't you try to win me over with your crying and your sighing Now the penalty for lying could be more than you had guessed Now the penalty for lying could be more than you had guessed If you offer such excuses Then you're in for a big surprise, yes If you offer such excuses Then you're in for a big surprise For my innocent Rosina now it's solitary confiment Till you show me some refinement I will teach you who knows best I will teach you who knows best I will teach you who knows best Yes, I will teach you, I will teach you who knows best