Hi everyone. I've been asked to say a few words about religion here in Britain. Well, as you probably know, we're a Christian country like you are in America. We're not quite as Christian as you are, because after all you've still got the death penalty, but traditionally we practise a form of Christianity which is almost as psychopathically disengaged from the message of Christ as you do. Although nowadays we're more of a multifaith society, and what that means in practice is that everybody wants respect, but nobody wants to give any. So we all get offended at the drop of a hat, or a turban; it doesn't make much difference. Christians, Muslims, Sikhs, Jews - everybody, it seems, has some sort of beef, except the Hindus, obviously. Everybody complains in Britain that religion doesn't get enough respect, and yet there are 16 churches within a 10 minute walk of my house, not to mention mosques, temples, synagogues, and all the other assorted wendy houses of the soul that cover this land from top to bottom like a plague of boils, and yet religion doesn't get enough respect. It pays no tax on corporate profits, it's allowed to indoctrinate children from birth, and yet it doesn't get enough respect? Well, excuse me, but even the Royal Family doesn't get quite that much respect, and they're treated like royalty. A third of all schools in Britain are single faith schools, financially supported by the government. Teachers are against this. In fact just this week teachers demanded a ban on all faith schools because they encourage segregation and prejudice, so naturally the government is creating even more of them, because our prime minister is a well known Christian hypocrite who has publicly endorsed the teaching of creationism in schools. Meanwhile, schools are dropping the Holocaust from history lessons in case Muslim children who have been taught to hate Jews feel compelled to say something anti-semitic. We don't want to embarrass the Muslim kids by showing up their parents as hate-mongering bigots because that would be disrespectful to their faith. I'm just wondering how long it will be before we start referring to it as the Holocaust theory for the sake of community relations. Christians, meanwhile, are becoming a lot more vocal here in Britain because they're worried about the growth of Islam. They don't want to see the country swamped by a new foreign religion. They'd rather keep the old foreign religion; the one that stole the pagans' festivals and burned them all as witches in the name of Jesus the merciful. The Church of England is doing its best to keep the flame alive, so to speak. The church is very much a part of the establishment here in Britain. We even let some of its bishops sit in Parliament and help decide our laws, which explains why we're still not allowed to go shopping on Easter Sunday. The Church of England was orginally established about 500 years ago, primarily to allow King Henry the 8th to abandon and murder his wives with God's blessing. But now that that purpose has been served, it has become something of a joke organisation which is often referred to as the Conservative Party in drag. Right now, the leaders of the church are preoccupied, not with homelessness or poverty or injustice, This is what they're focussed on, and we all know that you get what you focus on, which is probably why half of them joined the church in the first place. One person I do feel a little sorry for, though, is the Archbishop of Canterbury, the most important clergyman in Britain, and he's only got two lousy palaces to live in. What sort of life is that for a man of God? I bet if Jesus came back, even he'd be embarrassed for him. I bet he wouldn't be able to look him in the eye. But anyway, that's pretty much how things stand here in Britain; religion is alive and well, in the sense that a crocodile that's swimming towards you is alive and well, and its influence is growing as steadily as a clergyman's penis in room full of choirboys. But here now, as in America, people are starting to speak out against this creeping insanity, and who knows, if enough of us do it, maybe one day humanity will come to its senses and we can finally put this fake god into a rocket ship and send the silly old fool back into thin air, where he came from. I'm looking forward to it. Peace.