Transcript for Лимонад - Lemonade - Limonado

Lemonade

based on the story by Lawrence Block

Damn, I was sure that nobody's home.

First called, then rang the door bell...

I just came back.

Can you believe my luck?!

All week is like this.

Tuesday my car's bumper got smashed;

the other day I ran into and broke a fish tank.

I won't mention how much it cost me ...

Bad luck.

And yesterday I bit my lip.

Terrible, terrible luck.

And now, on top of all that, this night...

This night may end much worse for you.

Who knew?!

I can't stay in bed all day, after all!

I know one burglar,

he consults an astrologist

before each burglary.

He hasn't been caught in eight years.

Do you know anybody

who hasn't been busted in eight years?

I've never been in prison.

Of course, you are not a thief.

I'm a businessman.

I'll find that astrologist.

And will consult him.

If I get out of here, of course.

If you get out alive.

You are not going to shoot me, are you?

What?

What's the point in all this noise?

It's totally unnecessary.

I think two civilized people like you and me,

can settle this matter amicably.

I have some money on me,

and would be delighted to make a donation

to charity on your behalf.

Do we really need to involve police,

who like to poke noses into gentlemen's personal matters.

In any case, I hope

you don't want to shoot me.

Why not?

Blood on the carpet...

your wife will be furious...

Just ask her, I'm sure she'd hate it...

Unfortunately, I cannot ask her:

she's not home.

And she won't be home

for another hour or so, I think.

Still, you could respect her opinion on the matter.

And then, you can't shoot me:

I'm not threatening you.

And needless to say, murder is immoral.

Well, that would be legal.

How is that?

You are a burglar.

You broke into my own house.

I can shoot you on the spot,

without breaking law.

You mean self-defence?

All right, let's change subject.

What is that?

A jimmy.

Interesting.

It's a lethal weapon.

I could say that you

threatened me with a jimmy,

and I shot you in self-defence.

Of course, it will be my word against yours.

But, you won't say anything -

dead people don't speak.

Will police belive me?

What do you think?

Why do you need it?..

Do you want to... shoot me?

Maybe I never killed before...

Maybe I'll enjoy it or satisfy curiosity...

Or maybe I've enjoyed

killing enemies in a war combat,

and now look for an excuse

to kill somebody...

There may be a thousand reasons...

But ... you are a businessman,

and I'm a thief.

Correct. So what?

I could steal something for you.

Like what?

A car, a fur coat...

diamonds, market securities,

damaging documents on somebody...

No. I'm afraid

we won't have a deal.

Why not?

First, I have everything I need.

Are you able to steal

a woman's love for me?

I don't think so.

And second, how can I trust you?

My word.

"Your word"...

As soon as you are out of here,

you'll renege.

Even now, at gun point,

you are somehow confident

that I cannot shoot you

without suffering consequences.

So, regretfully...

No!

Really, you are of no use for me,

besides as a corpse.

What can you do, besides stealing?

I can make license plates.

That's not very valuable.

I know.

I often think: why didn't

they teach me something useful in prison?

There is almost

no demand for fake plates,

and making real ones

is a state monopoly.

So what do you do

when not stealing?

Oh, lots of things:

go out with girls,

feed my fish,

drive a car,

drink beer,

play chess...

How well do you play?

Not bad.

Plenty of leisure time

in prison to practice.

Then you could be useful.

Can you play with me for an hour?

Or until my wife is back.

I'm bored.

There is nothing to read,

nothing to watch on TV.

And it's hard to find

a chess partner of my level.

You are sparing my life

in exchange for a chess game?

Exactly.

Can I hope that you are

not going to shot me if I lose?

Chess, unlike love, for example,

is a game without dirty tricks.

You are a good player.

Thank you.

Too bad that...

that I steal?

Never mind.

I see, you got a new partner.

I'm happy for you.

Melissa, I won't waste words

listing you numerous affairs.

You know what you deserve.

You killed her.

Absolutely not.

Isn't she dead?

Yes, I surely hope so.

But I didn't kill her - you did.

I don't understand.

That's OK,

police will.

To a real businessman,

nothing is useless.

When life sends you lemons,

make lemonade.